urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:magic_ligressmagic_ligressmagic_ligressmagic_ligress2038-01-19T03:14:07Zurn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:magic_ligress:4005new years2038-01-19T03:14:07Z2038-01-19T03:14:07Zlast night we started in her home, a place where sparkling grape juice makes for toast that don't cause burning in the throat and a happy new year is simply living through it. Someone jokingly took their hair down to 'let lose', but I have a feeling if she didn't find it funny she would've found it sad, 'lose' probably seems a world away. no doubt on her way home she had it pulled tightly back again. then we left coziness and headed to a place where beer goes down like water. I felt completely welcomed there, infact I bet anyone who stepped inside would've. there were only a few us there, yet anymore might have felt wrong. then our third stop was to a complete strangers. when I walked in the door, feeling like an intruder, I was greeted by a teenage 'bopper' -as my mother would say. Her body-hugging red dress said new years all over it and I knew to her I was just another face to thicken the party and maybe even binge on the beers she claimed were in the freezer. I sipped wine after I knew it could be accepted, and I learned anything more than a sip might have left a hole in my esophagus. now it was 11:43 and I realized I didn't want my new year to begin with strangers. we rushed back home and gathered soundmakers and i held on to bubba's collar even though he tried to run away. I was offered more sparkling grape juice, but I declined it. my eyes were turned down when the ball dropped, but the screaming cued me to purse my lips so bubba could lick them- my new years kiss. i didn't feel any different, but when do you ever? afterward my lips smelt bad, but i was so tired i didn't mind. so i fell asleep an half hour later wating for rachel to come sleep beside me.<br /><br />Dear God, please give me strength to make this year far unlike last.